Calamity Kim

Beware the Locust

Our story begins with a girl named calamity as she heads for the checkout after finding everything she was looking for at the local Publix. She has just come from seeing the new Jane Eyre movie which has left her filled with an air of tragic romance. Thank goodness she is almost done with her day, and can just imagine laying on the couch in her jammies, eating quiche and slices of deliciously ripe tomatoes. She places her items on the conveyer and glances at the cashier who is staring at her intently.

The conversation starts with the cashier saying: "You've got a bug on you!".

"Yes," says Calamity, "I do."

Without hesitation the cashier asks: "Is that a locust?"

"No, she replies, "It's a Cicada."

"Well, I have never seen anything like that before- locust or cicada! May I ask where you bought that?"

Calamity shrugs and says: "Sure, I bought it on Etsy."

"Etsy! What is that?"

"It's like eBay, except for artists. If you make stuff you can list it there and people can buy it."

"What does it mean? Etsy?"

"I don't think it means anything- what does eBay mean?"

At this point the cashier stops scanning items and even though there are 4 people in line after the woman with the fascinating love of insects, she leans toward her like they were in a cafe having a cup of joe with all the time in the world stretching out before them, and says: " Tell me more about this Etsy!"

Well, you need to know that the lady called calamity had just about reached the end of her patience. In fact the bucket that is filled to the brim each morning with the shining happy promise of hope and patience has about a teaspoon left and that has to see her through the drive home and jammie time!

With a glance at the bag boy who is rolling his eyes and dying of enui and a nod to the 4 people in line she begins to explain that Etsy is for artist's and it's an online community and place to sell their work. She holds up her bag and says: "I spun this yarn, then knitted it and then lined it. If I wanted to sell it someplace other than a store I would list it on Etsy. It's easy, you just use a digital photograph and write the listing, set your price and it's cheep too."

Checking the cashiers face for further confusion, our Calamity says "Google it!" The cashier says: "Yes! I will! I am an artist and I make things and I was thinking the other day that if I could make things really fast then I could probably, well, maybe, sell them someplace." "Thank you, thank you so much for telling me about this Etsy! You've changed my life!"

A better person might have explained about the Surface Design Guild and how she is the President and that they meet the second Tuesday of each month at the Waldemere St Fire station at 6pm but she was tired. Too tired to say it. Too in need of quiche and slices of red, beautiful ripe tomatoes to explain all that to this chick who wouldn't understand anyway. Too filled with lingering vestiges of English countrysides with lonely despair filled moments building cobwebs of sadness and tales of woe from Jane Eyre. Too unbelieving that there is anyone left on this planet who doesn't know about Etsy.

Is that really possible?

Do I live in some sort of artist filled bubble where people make stuff and sell it and that's what they do? Probably.

On the drive home I think about making a new line of jewelry with calamities like train wrecks, swarms of locusts, tornadoes and zombie attacks. Why didn't I think of this before? It's sooo appropriate for me- walking mess that I am! That'll teach me to wear my beloved cicada pin in publix, er, public!

People are stupid, aren't they? Like, if they never heard of it then you must be making it up! Why are they afraid of what they don't understand? Why don't they read a book or do some research before they stamp it with their negativity and deem it inappropriate!  I haven't gone on a rant here in a very long time, but I just have to say this: jewelry with insects is not scary! Do some research into scarabs or art deco period and maybe you'll see that spiders, dragonflies, bees and cicadas have been around for quite some time. It's not creepy- it's nature! I collect spider pins because I spin- get it? spinning yarn...oh, and I'm a witch, too, of course! Please! Sometimes, I just want to go live on a deserted island where I don't have to talk to anyone or explain to the cretens about weird things like cicada jewelry and why it's so awesome.

Thank goodness it's Friday and I don't have to get any groceries tonight!

Have a very nice and happy shiny day!

love,

Calamity Kim

 

 

Creative Baby Steps

I collect baby shoes.

Not every baby shoe, but mostly mary jane's or leather shoes that show some wear.

I have used them to make patterns and sometimes sew felted wool in to

tiny replicas from those patterns. I can't find a picture but when I do I'll add it here.

 

Martha Stewart has a nice PDF pattern template here that you can download and use. Here are the directions too for using her pattern.

If you love little sweet baby shoes with a dash of creativity you might want to check out the Etsy Shop Rubblearium which sells digital prints (and downloads) of adorable baby shoes and fairy gowns made from interesting and unusual materials by Catherine McEver.

I love the Wonder Bread shoe

and I really love the lettuce shoe

The baby shoe print made from sewing pattern tissue is nice.

It would look really great in my sewing room, don't ya think?

She has quite a few others that are fashioned from astro turf or bologna and you should use this link to go see them for yourselves.

I should also like to point out her embroidered Wonder Bread and give it points for originality and workmanship- that couldn't be easy- embroidering on bread!

and don't forget the fairy clothes- which is evidence that they do exist in my opinion!

I was thinking about taking baby steps this week and that's why I am sharing this. I hope to get back to a normal schedule again soon. I have spent a lot of time lately helping a dear friend move and working on Guild projects and a few other top secret projects. The weather has been delightful the past few days and I am enjoying the coolness and lack of humidity more than I can describe.

In fact I want to go for a walk and enjoy this new and refreshing morning. It's only 53!!!! Can you imagine? I can't! Not after last weeks sweltering 97 degrees in the shade!

53°F | °C

Current: Sunny
Wind: NE at 9 mph
Humidity: 65%

Mon

76°F | 59°F

Tue

83°F | 66°F

Wed

87°F | 68°F

Thu

88°F | 69°F

Wow!

This seems almost like heaven!

Love & Stitches,

Calamity Kim

New Apron in Shop! This one is called Tea with Calamity... NOW with Extra Magic in every pocket!

The fun never stops, I tell ya! It just keeps on going!
I just added a new apron to the esty shop. It's already sold!

Remember the white linen dress (with the crochet) that I upcycled into a tie on the sides smock apron? Ya don't? Well maybe this will remind you:
This is the front.
It has a patch of organza with buttons, pins and charms below.
I think I even stuck a penny in there- for luck!
There's that cowgirl, just counting crows and eating petite fours
You would be so inspired wearing this...
Now with modern conveniences like a cell phone pocket...or maybe you could stick some biscuits in there, just in case you get hungry later...
There's always time for a spot of tea.

Or a thrilling game of mahjong with the girls.
Front or back it's all in the details.
and the hanger comes with it! what hanger? why this one, silly!
she's a little bit gypsy, cowgirl, victorian, if ya ask me!
Look into my eyes.... deep....into my eyes..... buy me now...... and wear me tomorrow......
or I will steal your dogs and pick the flowers from your yards!
hahahahaha
wild maniacal laughter .....
oh, come on, I was just jokin.....
really...
wasn't me, done took yer dawg....
I'm gonna go relax before I have ta go to some dang meetin...
see ya tomorrow, sweet calamity lovers.
Stitches & hugs!
Calamity You Know Who!

Japanese Craft Books in My Etsy Shop

I am listing a few of my extra craft books in Etsy if anyone is interested. This book has 155 pages of some of the most beautiful quilts I have ever seen. The Japanese are masters at quilting and sewing and these quilts are evidence of what can be achieved after a few centuries of practice.

This book has embroidery patterns- cute stuff!

Trick or Treat!!! Sinister & Sweet Fake Cupcakes

Remember these? I finally got all the packaging details worked out and am putting some in the Etsy Shop. I will be making some for Christmas and some Shabby Chic ones as well. I first made a batch of these last year and included one with all my first purchases from Etsy. I have had many requests to share the recipe or sell the cupcakes, so without further ado... they are available. I can't share the recipe, however but I can tell you where to purchase it, if you are interested. On eBay, the seller named: thnkdfrent. I will post a link here but once that particular auction is finished, you will need to do a search for sellers ID's and find her. Please do not ask me for the recipe. It is only fair that you purchase it from her- I can't give away something that isn't mine. She will send you an easy to follow PDF File with many!13!!! other fake food recipes, including :MINI LAYER CAKE, VANILLA FUDGE SUNDAE, CAPPUCCINO W/WHIPPED CREAM, CHOCOLATE ICED DONUT, POWDERED DONUT, FROSTED BROWNIE W/NUTS, FROSTED CUPCAKES, CHUNKY PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES, SHORTBREAD COOKIES, DECORATED GINGERBREAD COOKIES, LARGE LOLLIPOPS, CARAMEL APPLE W/NUTS & CANDY TRUFFLES. Its only $8.99.
If you would rather not do all that work and get messy and buy some from me, then that would be swell!

Mine are packaged in a spider bag with a bit of orange cream-sicle colored shredded paper and some spider confetti.
They would be lovely hanging on one of the black Halloween wreaths from Michael's with a big Halloween Bow or on your Halloween tree.
Don't have a tree?
Find some bare tree branches and paint them black or white and put them in a vase (milk glass would be good!) or a painted coffee can filled with a few inches of plaster of paris or sand to hold them down.
You could even put holes in a pumpkin and use it for a base- fill it with flower foam, stick in the branches  and instant "tree". It looks pretty cool with Spanish moss and spiders and tea-dyed cheese cloth dripping from it. Spooky!
{If you are using Spanish Moss from outside- remember to put it in the oven for a bit to kill any bugs that may be living inside it. } You can always buy it by the bag form Michael's or "Large Mart".
I use moss and the spider webs in a bag. The secret to making the fake webs look good is to pull it wayyyyy apppparttttt and strech it so that you have just fibers on stuff. Be patient with it. They are like Tinsel for the Christmas tree- a little goes a long way! Don't gob it on!

My cupcakes would be great displayed on a cake stand in your cupboard or just to "trick" the kids!  Get some while they are still available and I welcome any wholesale orders- so if you know anyone with a cute shop or have one of your own then shoot me an email and we'll discuss it. There are a few Real Cupcake Shops here in town that I am contacting about possibly having a display and selling some of my cupcake delights (aprons, chenille cakes, fake food, etc). I will be adding some great Halloweenish aprons to Etsy on Oct 1st. Are the leaves changing yet where you are? I would love to have some to dip into bees wax and hang from my Halloween tree...But for now...
It is so beautiful this morning that I think I might head out to the beach. My bike is begging for a ride and the ocean calls. I will be back later perhaps with a project that I started last night, while watching Heroes. I was so blissed out at getting to watch a new show, I almost floated off the couch! Thank heavens for the New Season! Happy Tuesday Morning Everyone!

Dance of the Mermaid

Dance of the Mermaid, originally uploaded by calamity kim.

This is a collage I have been playing with. I think it's finished. First I painted the 9 x 12" canvas with acrylics. Then I used my new watercolor crayons to draw clouds. Then I collaged the Louise Brooks girl and some more crayon and stamping and embossing led me to stencil with Spackle on the left side for a raised effect.
Then I put some walnut ink on that  to tone it down.
The rose is a transparency that I transferred using Acrylic Gel Medium. I used some glitter glue to give her sparkle but then I covered the whole thing with a thin coat of beeswax.
She just got her legs and is dancing in spite of the feeling of broken glass or pins and needles, as the old fairy tales differ in what she actually felt.

Everything is blue, green or faded in her world and now she is going to paint it all red! Bright, brilliant Red!!!!

I am listing this in Etsy. It is 9" x 12" original suitable for framing calamity!

Down the Rabbit Hole Fabulous Jewelry and Art

Go check out Down The Rabbit Hole by TartX on Etsy....lovely stuff and here is her Blog where she Blogs without Obligation. I love that!

man, she's got a good thing going on...go check her Blog!

counting crows

Just taking a few minutes to wash off the paint and glitter and show you what I was doing over the weekend.
I had some foam core board that I was using on another project but  I had been thinking a lot about  making something fall related. I love Autumn and although I am in the tropical heat of Florida- I always think back to NJ where I was born or NC where I was raised and when the air would get the smells of Fall. The leaves burning. The frost in the air...When I see the stores getting decorated and the  Back-to-school  sales begin, I know it'll be here soon...

This little pumpkin guy has a paper clay face and is getting a bit anxious about all those spiders... There is a lid to the round chamber and it can be left on or off.  The inside is painted matte black and  you could easily make your own little alter or holiday vignette. I have listed these two plus several party hats at my etsy site. The link is to your right on the sidebar. Just click on the calamity kim name at the bottom. Thanks! 

This is the other crow that I have listed so far. It was painted black and then German glass glitter was applied. Black glitter is everywhere, of course.

The counter.

The table.

The floor.

I even got a glass splinter!
Yikes!

Shop Update*** Etsy*****New Goods***

What do you need, an Invitation? Y'all git on over to Etsy and see what's new!!!

Image from Vintage Workshop Cards

hot dam! gnaw on this...

Etsy shop will be getting a few new things on Saturday, instead of Friday! Be there at 12 Noon EST.

See, I have to pay the price for goofing off yesterday!

Make yer own sign with this.

Time...where does it go?

Thank you for all your comments and for signing up for the Giveaway! If you are new to my blog please read the next post about my 6th month Blog*a*versary going on all month! ******

I am just putting a few appetizers in for you to see, if you are interested in new ETSY stuff- so all the pictures in this post will be things going in today at noon.

I finally, whew! finished the Art Apron and the mini quilt- "Silence of the Gnomes" and I have 2 sets of bunting along with the Alice Shadowbox.
I have been sewing all week and am very happy with the bunting- it is fun and satisfying to create something so happy and whose sole purpose is to celebrate.

The next big Hallmark Holiday is Mother's Day and there are so many fabrics that can be used for creating the bunting to celebrate that.

I also have some beach fabrics cut out for pennants- so appropriate for Fla.

I would also like to do some collage on some- add applique and letters -maybe stamp some...
I have a huge amount of stamps from when I lived in Asheville and worked at Michael's Arts & Crafts and there was a wonderful stamp store there also.
I rarely use them now- it just seems like a a lot of work and mess and I have had a difficult time finding Fabrico stamp pads.
I have several new ones now so I am ready to stamp and the bunting would be a great venue.

I also am having fun with the mini doll quilts and after I went back and read the size requirements for the Mini Doll Quit Swap that I entered (hosted by  Lisa K at  Losabia  ) I am starting a new one that will be a bit larger. Any excuse really, is fine....

Fon's & Porter's Quilt magazine came yesterday and it not only has a few interesting looking patterns for small quilts it also has info on a baby quilt challenge.

I am considering designing a baby quilt for the newest grand baby who, from the ultrasound, appears to be another boy. So,  since I never finished Austin's first two quilts, I  think I can maybe make one for all three to lay on !
I need to make it a priority and then it gets done.
As Fred helped me vacuum yesterday, doing some of my chores so I could sew,  I felt lucky and guilty at the same time-

I always think projects will take a shorter amount of time than they actually do- 4 or 5 hours ends up being 24 or 25 hours in actuality.
Maybe it's my right brain that has such a difficult time measuring the hours or that I get side tracked by household duties. If I were in a studio I wouldn't be stopping every 15 minutes....anyway...maybe I need to pretend I am "AT WORK" and then put a sign up that reflects that....ha ha...Sadie can't read!

In Asheville there was a district over by the old railroad station that was old brick buildings that had been turned into Art Studios- each year they have an open house and sale and it was wonderful to walk around and see the glassblowers and welders making sculpture. The potters, the sewers, the basket weavers.
I always  wanted to be apart of a cottage industry like that.
In Sarasota there is some of that, on a smaller scale and if I got out more- downtown or the Farmer's Market I could possibly network a little.

It just seems like a dream. I have all I can do to take care of Fred and the dog and sew and get a few items in the shop...
One of a kind is my thing and I wish I could mass produce things to make the price lower and more affordable, but then I'd lose the ooak part. Anyway...enough babble- I need to get to Etsy...You guys enjoy the day. Be safe. Be Well. Share smiles. Tell someone you love them. Pat someone on the back. Play for a moment. Cherish this time...it's all so fleeting.

I don't know where all the time flies off to...but it must stop somewhere to rest...maybe all the time is stored up in the atmosphere around beaches...where it seems to stretch out into infinity...

Let's go shopping!

sometimes ya just have to have cake.

or maybe something to love, and cherish.... or maybe rest your weary head upon...I have been stocking the store over at Etsy and now I am going to go work on my splendid new art apron! I just received the Martha Negley tea cup fabric from Reprodepot and can't wait to go into the sewing room and get busy! Sadie and I might split a peanut butter and jelly sandwich first- it's raining and there is a bit of low thunder...perfect day to drink some tea, listen to dave and sew...I keep hearing this song by John Legend and I really like it too...turn off the radio and give this an ear....also see if you can beat me to some more of Grace's fabulous tiny pastries and fake cakes tomorrow 10am pacific time she will be listing sweet treats in her shop on etsy...maybe I won't link you...maybe you'll have to find it for yourselves! ...oh, that's just plain rude, ain't it? well, they look so tiny and sweet and she makes them so lovely and I don't want to make my own...really...I have other irons in the fire...not that the doll house is progressing in any way- would you like to see it? I will add another picture...maybe I can finish this apron and then get to work on the doll house....Happy St Patrick's early all you wee folk out there! Please call a cab or get a designated leprechaun to drive...please?...i do worry so...have you seen the shirts that say don't drink and draw? teehee...is the teehee annoying anyone beside Troy? I will stop- it just looks so cute and I am sick of LOL. really.btw brb LGAC (that's later gator afterwhile crocodile) oh, god...stop me, please, i have ta go sew....

The Little Prince

I sewed like a mad woman today for about 6  hours and my results were quite pleasing! I made a pincushion that has been kicking in my mind to get out for several weeks now.

I want to make some more "inspired by books" pincushions- there are so many wonderful ones out there! This little guy is standing on his Asteroid B-612 which I made from a coat that I felted.

I get lucky sometimes at Goodwill and find them before anyone else does- I don't think many people buy them to wear here- so it must be for crafting! I always bought cashmere coats for bears and boiled wool sweaters, but now those are hard to find and I almost never find beaded sweaters anymore...Oh well, His clothes are made from wool felt and his body is wired and stuffed and he has little pin flowers and his volcano's even have puffs of smoke!

I entered him in the Softie Awards on Flickr- have you been watching it? Did you see Amanda's Molding Mildred? She is right up on the website! I love it!  There are 12 categories with everything from bears to robots, wild cards to functional, pincushions and cozies. Tomorrow is the last day to enter and then the judges will choose 5 finalists from each of the 12 categories. Then i think we, the people get to vote and then the winners will be announced!

I am excited by the fun of it! There are so many cool, creative, funny, splendidly unique items that no doubt the judges will have a difficult time! I am just happy to throw my hat in with all the good company!

I am listing the Little Prince on Etsy, BTW, so if you are in love, you'd best be going.....have a great night- I am bummed- no new Earl, No New Office, what about Grey's??? Come on, why do they do this to us??? Did anyone watch LOST last night? What about that huh???? huh???!!!! wow! can't believe they dangle big giant carrots like that! I am making a Locke doll- he will be very trusting and loyal, and somewhat misguided....

Thanks for stopping by...

Hey, y'all! I am so glad that y'all stopped by, (imagine that this is spoken with a slightly southern accent..or not, I can turn it off if you aren't charmed by it!) would you like to have a seat?

Sadie, stop, stop that! Oh, I am sorry, she is getting hair all over you...she just wants some love- you'll have to ignore her or she'll have you down on the floor or throwing that damn Frisbee in a minute!
What's that? You love dogs? Oh, well, so do I and she is a sweet one! Why she's scared of her own shadow! I had the dress form out and modeling the art apron and she was very afraid!! I had to take it down from the table and take everything off of it so she could see that it wasn't going to eat her brains! Yikes! Zombie manikin...hahaha!

OK. I will behave- I have been loading the shop over at ETSY and now I will be giving you the old soft shoe number as a diversion while I slowly ease your wallet out and relieve you of some of that hard earned cash...NO, really, I have a Son in Collage, er, College, and he needs some food and pencils and money to pay his phone bill so he can call his poor Mother (*hint*). No, really, I need to be cruising the new, giant Goodwill my Brother just called and told me about. So that I can buy more old junk to make into art. What's that? You don't know about my habit? My habit of making Art Dolls? Mutants? Make Do's? What, no, there's that's not rum cake we're eating. You feel dizzy?

You need to sit down? You need to go to ETSY and see what is in my store before someone else beats you to it? Well, Sadie, move, come on, get your head off their feet so they can go! Go now! No, wait, come back...soon...we'll dish about the neighbors...or about The Fountain that comes out today...have you seen it? I am going to get it in just a minute....come back later and we'll talk about it! Please excuse the shameless self promotion but I must sell some handicrafts to keep the fabric in stock- you see, if I use even the smallest amount of fabric, it must be replaced otherwise my heart starts to beat wildly and I get short of breath and I simply must maintain balance in the sewing room! I need it to survive...more than cakes and pies and magazines and treats- i needs me some fabric! Oh, no, wait, that's not right...

shameless...simply shameless...grandbabies need shoes?...need to prove to inner critic that I am worthwhile?...Mom wasn't right about all the mess making and globs of glitter and glue..on her hands and knees trimming it from the rug...I have a million reasons to load up the Etsy store and send you over- but mostly because I make 'em and that's my joy. I need to sell them to keep on makin! If you can't buy it's ok, maybe someone else will and I can have some small success. That would be swell! I don't want to put commercials on here and I don't feel comfortable pushing my products, but I need a venue and this is it until I learn to build a website..so if This is a turn-off then just keep on bloggin but do stop by again real soon and we'll dish! **** After going to Blockbuster I learned that The Fountain wasn't released today- they had the sign up and I was all excited but they didn't receive it today...bummer, I will let you know when It really is available ! 

Started ETSY!!!!!!!

I did it!
I really did it!
I started an ETSY Shop!!!
Right here: go see
I am sort of proud of myself.
I put this little bear named Miss Adora Belle in as my first item.