Getting The Dirt on Calamity Kim

This sleepy gnome in a dome is part of my table setting for November.
 I try to change it up seasonally or when I get bored or have to dust. Blech! Did I say dust?
Forget it for this week, because it's already Friday!
 Where did the week go? I guess I was goofing off and it slipped by!
Today is the day that I have been waiting for for a long time.
I have to share a secret- some dirty laundry secrets!
Are you ready?
Are you curious, unable to imagine the dirty shameful secrets a calamitous girl like me might reveal?
Got a cup of coffee or tea?
Maybe hot cocoa?
Are you leaning in close?
Nose to screen, on the edge of your seat?
You can't tell anyone!
Pinky swear!
OK, I trust you with my filthy story!
 It has to do with dirty laundry literally and you will get a chuckle I hope when I tell you about my washer & dryer escapades.
Of course I am illustrating this post with pictures of the dining room/kitchen area since they are recently dusted and arranged after I withdrew the Halloween decor and went for a bit of Fall with a slice of turkey and a few paper cut Indians and leaves for effect.
I assume that you will forgive me for the bad lighting and hurriedly shot photos-
I needed something to illustrate this post and they will have to do-
 time is of the essence as they say!
 The story begins when I married the Mr and gave my washer & dryer to a family member because it was easier than moving them to this house from my apartment. Yep, lazy always wins the fight and then I only have myself to blame for not taking the time to hire a truck and move them here.
But, my Brother needed a new washer & dryer and mine were new from Sears in NC and it all worked out.
Until about a year ago when mysterious rusty brown marks began to appear on the clothing and sheets and towels- I didn't know what they were!

Mr accused me and I pointed the finger at him!
What could be happening?
Were we sleep walking in the night?
Going to tractor pulls unaware?
It didn't happen every time! It was like a dirt lottery where you only got marked up occasionally- not every load but just often enough to make you wonder.
I checked the washer- a few rust flakes sometimes in the bottom but no sign of what could be causing these twisted up looking weird marks!
We discovered after several bizarre months that it was the dryer.
Not the washer, she was innocent!
The Dryer had been eating our clothes!
What's that?
 Dryers don't eat clothes? Well, mine did- does- and it also has a secret button storage place.
 I discovered one day, as I opened the dryer and saw my favorite t-shirt hanging from inside, caught in a place that I had no clue existed, a tiny open area.
 If you stick your hand in and then turn it around and feel downward you will find the spot with a bit of lint and loads of buttons- probably years of buttons, that have been trapped and caught inside this hidden spot. I personally think its the mouth of the dryer monster and once the dryer has been turned on this mouth comes to life and begins thoughtfully selecting only the newest and nicest clothing or articles to gnash and chew and wring up in the rusty maw, to leave dangling there for me to find and have to rip out as he laughs in his silent mockery of my despair. Now I am not being dramatic- I know the dryer is possessed!
Just as the stove was that burned me every chance it had, until it was replaced with a shiny new and kinder stove, the dryer has sought out my favorite and most beloved clothes to torment me and finally force me to quit using it all together for our clothes- leaving them to drip dry on hangers all through the house.
I am more trailer park than I ever knew!
Boy, I wish I had a clothesline...but the pollen here would be a problem in certain times of the year, so it's OK.
 I have made peace with the dryer monster by ignoring him and only giving him small towels and sheets that I care not for they can be replaced- I go to the laundry mat for quilts.
I felted some wool one too many times and after clogging the pipes with massive amounts of fuzz and sort of flooding the Mr's workroom on the carport I do that at the Laundry Mat so- its no big deal!  (that was my fault! sorry Mr!)
But, today is the day that the new washer and dryer set gets delivered!
Nothing could be more joyful after wedding days, births of babies or Grandchildren, winning lotteries or being published than the day you purchase and finally have delivery of your very own, brand spanking new,  super duper,
washer and dryer!
Am I Thankful?
Yes.
Will it make wash day a wonderful and happy day?
Yes!
 I will be in the laundry room with my lovely front loaders, sitting on the floor watching the wash spin and the dryer tumble.
I will be sitting cross legged on the floor, mesmerized by the sight and whisper of their soft spoken poetry of cleaning power as the almost silent and sparkling new team take on my most domestic dirt and transform my wardrobe from wrinkled, rusty disasters to bright whites and clear cheerful colors and I never have to worry about my clothes being tortured or destroyed ever again!
I will take some pictures after they are all set up and maybe I can get one of the delivery people to open that awful place and I can liberate those buttons or at least get a picture of it- they will have tools and young muscles- so it could happen-
I'd love to show you-
and prove it to the Mr who thinks I make all these stories up and that I must be taking the laundry a piece at a time and dragging it down the road tied to the bumper of my bike or just twisting it up like a schoolyard bully ready to wet towel ya- and adding rust for color and drama- yep, cause I like to spend my hours torturing innocent shirts and socks!
Makes me feel happy- aww come on! why would I do such a thing?
 I will show him the dryer monster and vindicate my good name once and for all! Today is that day!
Yahoo!
Thank you Mr for all your hard work and for providing me with another dream come true!
My Prince charming who has given me a wonderful space to sew, time to do it with and now a way to wash and dry my stuff so that it will fray and get worn when I want it to- not when the monster decides he's looking for a snack!
Be back later with more pics!
;)
calamity kim
Today's the Day!