Self Portrait

As I sit and think about what I am going to write this morning, the world seems quiet.
I don't hear the usual bird songs and there is no wind.
Yesterday was beautiful, warm and breezy. Is it going to rain?
Is this the calm before the storm?
I can see the lake behind our house, the cattails have died down, and it seems still, with only the lightest ripples.
On Saturday I took a linen dress, found at Goodwill months ago, and cut it up the sides and trimmed the back neckline to make a sort of tunic apron.
For two days I tried to stitch the squares on to the sides as a trim.
For two days we had visits from the little girl across the street.
Miki is 6 and fast becoming a part of our lives.
One day about 4 months ago, she came over to tell me that her friend down the street was moving and she would need a new friend. I was adopted right then and there as her new friend and occasional "granny".

I don't know about you, but I can't resist anyone wearing bunny slippers!
If the devil himself,  rang my doorbell wearing these cuties, I would let him in and fix him pancakes! So, it is impossible to deter a 6 year old from her agenda and if she wants you to do something, you absolutely must drop everything and give her the time.
In her eyes I can make anything and have everything to make everything as well!
I am like an Art teacher, finally!
My dream come true!
I always wanted to be an elementary Art School teacher.
We paint and draw and sew and I am sure when the weather warms up we'll move on to paper mache.

She likes to draw and paint and then make them into books.
With a staple,  it suddenly has been published and proudly held out for me to see!
My heart sings! It's an I love you Book- Because I am the Best!!!

Now, Miki thinks I am old. Fred told her that when I was a little girl that dinosaurs roamed the earth and that is their big joke.
" Kim, will you tell me about the dinosaurs?"
So I do.
I make up stuff and use my imagination and we pretend.
That is unusual for us- Fred is very real and practical and I am the elf loving-unicorn riding-rainbow chasing-wing making-fairy tale reading  girl.
But, when he starts to play, it's like he is a kid again and it is truly fun!
Having Fathered two daughters gives him an arsenal of tools that I don't have, being a Mom to a Son.
Boys and Girls are different! I never believed that as much as I do now- I didn't know- how would I?

This is a portrait of me by Miki.
See my wonderful eyelashes?
My cute as a button nose?
She captured the essence of me and my chins quite well!
Yes, through her eyes I am like 100 years old. Maybe it's my gray hair?
Maybe it's my roundness?
I remember my Grandmother was so round that I could never get my arms around her- I was just too small- she wasn't that big, and so it is with Miki.
She is tiny.
To her anyone over 20 is old!

This picture is on the refrigerator.
It seems to fascinate her and she asks me about it a lot! Like how old was I? (40) and where was I?( a wedding) and how come I don't look like that now(this one always stops me cold).
I think I do look like that in my mind! I have the most difficult time believing that I am a size 14 and old- that I will be 50 in 3 years- I remember when that seemed like it was really old! Now, I think 90 is old! Perspective changes doesn't it?
It's all relative, they say.
You're as Young as You feel, they say...
some mornings I don't want to get out of bed, I feel so tired and weary.
I've had enough.
I am over it!
I want to sleep.
I am tired of all the pain and evil in the world.
I don't have the strength to go on.
Then the doorbell rings and rings again and 6 more times until I come running, sliding in my house shoes,  to open the door to a 4'  tall,  bossy girl saying "What took you so long? Can't you run?"
Yes, I can still run.
I used to run 1 mile fun runs at the beach.
I did a 5k once.
I was fit.
I was strong.
I was young.
Now I spend more time sitting than ever and it shows. Every year I start walking until it gets so hot that I just can't and stay indoors with the curtains pulled against the heat.
Just saying that the aprons are being worn more often as a cover-up than an article of necessity. I like the look and the camouflage.
I stopped by JoAnn Fabrics after the Surface Design Play Day and held up the line while the cashier went to recheck the fabric remnant I was buying- it was almost closing time and the ladies in back of me were not amused.
Even my cute little jumper tunic apron didn't relieve their pain at having to spend minutes waiting.
Minutes that they will never get back in their lives, spent staring at me in my silly apron.
Finally the lady behind me (in her royal blue Sunday suit) asked did I make the "thing" I was wearing? "Yes", I said sheepishly," and I am sorry you have to wait- this always happens to me".
"No, she graciously replied, "Sometimes it happens to me as well".
"It's an apron", I said, more confident that she was going to be nice.
"I see",  she replied.
More silence until another cashier came up to help the line that had formed 7 deep behind me.
Sometimes, wearing an apron I have made is like a Neon sign saying: ASK ME IF I MADE THIS?
You need to feel gregarious and  in the mood for some explaining.
At home, they take it for granted that I dress a little funny.
Last night, before we went to sleep, I said that Sweeney Todd comes out on DVD on Tuesday and I am thinking about making a special apron and some meat pies to celebrate.
This morning Fred woke me by playing songs from the movie (on You Tube)  sung by Johnny and The HBC. What a glorious way to rise and shine.
So, all this talk of aprons and The Apronista Network- if you want an invite to join just comment here and I will be happy to hook you up. It is free and you can chat with other gals who dig aprons and share apron pictures, patterns and are nice. It can be a wonderful opportunity to meet new people and find the perfect apron.