Calamity Kim

Floating

Is there anyone you know that you would like to bombard with fruit? Sometimes I think it might be fun to hurl some apples and tomatoes and broccoli maybe, at a few people. I dunno. Might be funny.... Just drifting through You Tube and Flickr for a moment before I go ride my bike to the library...

vintage mouse ornament

vintage mouse ornament, originally uploaded by pixiegenne.

eek! It's too cute!!!!
Get it away! It has Christmas Cooties!!!!!!

and another

and another, originally uploaded by pixiegenne.

Visit Pixiegenne by clicking on this picture! She has Christmas Cooties!

from "holiday crafts you can make"

from "holiday crafts you can make", originally uploaded by pixiegenne.

Found on Flickr.

Christmas Cooties! Achoo!!

Shoofly, don't bother me, I'm Pushing Daisies!

These are the ShooFly Cup Pies that I made last night to eat while watching Pushing Daisies. I used a recipe from Marion Cunninghams' book of Lost Recipes. I have never eaten ShooFly before and was intrigued by the name and ingredients.
I did a bit of Googling and found this information:
As the very earliest settlers came to North America by boat, they brought with them the staples of their diet - long-lasting nonperishable that would survive a long boat trip. These staples were flour, brown sugar, molasses, lard, salt, and spices. Arriving in the new land during late fall, they had to live pretty much on what they had brought with them until the next growing season. The women, being master of the art of "making do," concocted a pie from the limited selection that could be found in the larder. This resourcefulness led to the creation of shoofly pie. Click here to read more from that article.
What did it taste like?
It was like cake on top with a wet bottom.
I had heard of "wet bottom" pies but they just reminded me of baby diapers and never sounded very appealing.
Let me tell ya- with some whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon, it put a smile on both our faces and warmed our bellies. Our Pie Bellies. That's what we're going to have if I continue to bake a pie each week! Better than "muffin tops", but still- I will be back to riding my bike everyday!

Sorry- had to do it! Speaking of fat- I realized as I watched Hairspray the other day that the fat girls (including JT) looked really good and Michelle Pfeiffer looked like a bag o' bones. Perhaps it was just the zip in their collective doo dahs, but Queen Latifah and the other big girls were rockin that chubby cheek fresh face of happiness and Miss Michelle was just looking miserable. (She might want to eat more than a few blades of grass and have some pie and cake and whatever else she is offered this Holiday Season.) I think healthy looks really great! They need to start promoting Healthy in Hollywood.
I remember when my hipbones showing was vital. Now, I guess I really am middle aged because I may never see those hipbones again and I just don't care. There are worse things than not being skinny.
Ok, so back to the recipe: I substituted light corn syrup for the dark corn syrup because I just couldn't go to the grocery store again! It was fine. I also used some Pillsbury Pie Crust (found near the biscuits in the dairy isle). I used pyrex cups that with stood the temp of 350 quite nicely. I also added a beaten egg to the liquid part.

Shoofly Cup Pie Recipe

Ingredients:

1 Cup All Purpose Flour
1/2 cup packed light brown sugah
1/2 cup vegetable shortening
***
1 cup water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup dark corn syrup
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup heavy cream, softly whipped

1 box containing 2 pre-made pastry sheets (pillsbury)

This is so easy.
sprayed the cups with some oil then cut the pastry in half and put it in the pyrex cups.  folded down and crimped the edge.

Next put the kettle on to boil the water.

Then take one cup flour and 1/2 cup brown sugar and shortening and cut together with pastry blender or fork or your fingers till it is small bits. Set aside

When the water boils, make yourself a cup of tea for later and put 1 cup of boiling water in a bowl.
Add one tsp baking soda.
Add 1/2 cup Corn syrup.
I used light corn syrup and a drop of wildflower honey.
Sprinkle some salt in it and stir.
Now at this point it looked too watery and I was Scared so I went to "Google IT" and saw that some recipes add a beaten egg- so I did.
Then pour the liquid in the prepared pastry cups.

It was still thin and watery, which I felt might be a mistake- but cooking is chemistry, after-all and I am a Mad Scientist- so I fill the cups and crossed my fingers!
Then sprinkle the dry flour/sugar mixture on top.
Bake until center is dry in a 350 degree oven.

You could serve with vanilla ice cream or whipped cream and a sprinkle of cinnamon or chocolate and it would be  delicious.
Plus- it looks so damn cute in those cups.
I did use a cookie sheet with tinfoil below the cups while baking because they boiled over and some of the crust fell off- but it was easy to crumble the foil and throw away. I have learned the hard way, to just go ahead and put anything new on a cookie sheet lined with foil- especially if it has baking soda in it- after-all, I am a Calamity waiting to happen!

I was gonna tell you guys that the movie Waitress kinda disappointed me but I have run out of pictures and really need to get busy sewing.
It didn't leave me with a happy warm fuzzy feeling.
I thought I was getting another Hope Floats, but this was poorly edited and written and the dialog was cold and stilted and the pie recipes were awful.
It had such a nice premise- a girl who just wants to bake pies, and makes them up in her head.
I liked the long and crazy names for the pie
I liked the idea of the movie and it would have been a great college thesis film, but, it was like a badly baked serving of dry, bland, uncooked in the middle, burned around the edges, waste of good fruit of a movie pie. Disappointed. Sorry if I got anyone's hopes up!Anyway- Much to do!   If you try a cup pie, let me know.  and remember- don't mess with the girls from the Pie Ho!

Christmas Wishes for You, Deer.

Christmas Wishes for You, Deer., originally uploaded by icklebird.

Does this get anyone in the mood?
I love these vintage images.
Stenciled and airbrushed...thats how it looks to me. I just wanted to say that the elf is coming along nicely. I need some expert geek nerdy computer help though before I can put a link up to the PDF. I went shopping yesterday and got some Martha Stewart papers and tissues on clearance at Michaels and some more watercolor paper to create some more giant paper dolls. Atomic Holiday Bazaar is coming soon and I must prepare!!! Then any leftovers will go in my almost empty Etsy shop. I'll be back later....maybe with some cup pies to eat while watching Pushing Daisies! eep!

lemon meringue sky high pie

lemon meringue sky high pie, originally uploaded by calamity kim.

last years Christmas pie. Come join my new Flickr Group- It's called the Pie Maker

Pie Town

Pie Town, originally uploaded by Afroswede.

Where is the Pie?

Pie CAKES

Pie CAKES, originally uploaded by chocmocakes.

Found on Flickr

Ghosts of Christmas' Past or Elves in the Dark

What's this? I can't believe my eyes! Have you caught the Christmas cooties yet? It's almost time for the fever to start! The Season of Christmas and Hanukkah and Kwanzaa should be celebrated in Love and the spirit of Giving should come from that place in your heart that glows with contentment when making someone else happy.I feel disconnected from my Family at Christmas- they are all so far away. It only makes me miss them more. The memories are what sustain me. It's difficult when you have lost people that you love, also, close to the Holidays. I lost my Son Mark who was only 8 months old and had Cerebral Palsy, 4 days after Christmas. I lost a lot of my Joy then. My Husband Fred lost his first wife, Belinda, on Christmas Day,  5 years ago.So, do I write about what we have lost or what we have gained? We both understand each other's pain and have gotten through the  Holidays for 3 years together. Now, this will be our 4th Christmas. It is not really necessary to get a tree, the largest symbol of Christmas, because there are no little bright eyed kids to be amazed by presents from the Fat Man! I have lots of ornaments, in storage, waiting, some that I have treasured for 28 years! But, it seems hollow and empty without a tree to me. For Fred, one of the most difficult things was to un-decorate after Belinda died. He equated Christmas with pain and every angel and snowman just re-enforced the pain of losing his best friend and companion of more than 20 years.

It has been 21 years since Mark died, for me. I can deal with it. I think that part of why we are together is because of that- shared pain. Of course, that may just be a huge justification on my part, but we fit each other very well. There is a dark spot in each of us where that pain lives.
I have had mine longer so it has grown brighter and the Joy has seeped back in. My perspective has changed on death as I have grown older and I really can see how you can celebrate someone's life and keep your sadness too. It's complicated and personal and I don't discuss it so that you can feel sorry for me. It usually makes people uncomfortable to discuss it. Especially at Christmas. And here I am weaving it into my Advent Elf post. Not what I had intended. But if I don't tell you then its the same as lying. Should I just ignore the truth about how we "get through" the Holidays? How every Jingle Bells song on every commercial is muted? Ok. Wait. This year is going to be different. He said we could get a tree!!! I am working on an advent elf to get mailed to the grand-boys in TN and THERE WILL BE CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

It doesn't mean that all wounds are healed or that we'll pretend like nothing has happened. It will just mean that enough time has passed for the tree not to be a bitter reminder of what he lost.  Belinda will always be remembered with love and he will always cherish her memory and have the memories of all the years they laughed and loved and raised their girls together.

I could do with my tabletop trees and be happy. I have forgotten the messy clean-up of pine needles everywhere.
It always seemed to be worth it- to have the live tree.
The smell of evergreen.
My parents had a beautiful,  but fake tree when I was young and I used to always insist on a real tree after I grew up and started getting my own- after all- it supports the industry.
In NC where I used to live there are many Christmas tree farms and nothing beats driving by and smelling the refreshing smell of pine.
So, now ya know a little bit more about me- about us. The real Calamity Kim.
It took a long time to get my Joy back and I know that Christmas will always be bittersweet, but what I really want is to be with my family. I wish I could be with my Mom and Dad and Son and my Sister and Brother and I really wish I could spend this Christmas with Lexi and the grand babies, while Beau is in Iraq. Bittersweet. See, do you just compromise and be patient until you can spend time with the ones you love again? I guess so. In the meanwhile, I hope that I catch the Christmas Cooties from all my Cyber Sistahs and just allow myself some happiness. Enough forlorn sadness and misery already! I'll put that back in it's box at the back of the closet and open the curtains and turn on all the lights and let the elves sing and dance about while glitter falls like snow in the quiet of the early morning.

This is the elf. The elf in the dark. He is getting new eyes- I took off the buttons I had sewn on- they weren't right. I didn't see the twinkle in them. I have drafted a pattern, but I am not really in love with his face- I might change it. But- Today is the day I draft his overalls with 25 pockets! Or should I make 24? Because the Big day is 25 and you have All the presents to open, right? Another thing that I have been patiently waiting for is about to happen today too-! Waitress comes out on DVD. It's about Pie. Well, and maybe love and life, but mostly Pie. I am getting my shower and hopping in the car and going to get it. I am pretty sure that PIE has superseded cupcakes for me. Next year will be THE YEAR OF THE PIE! With Pushing Daisies as Inspiration- I am working on a series of Art Aprons and Purses involving PIE. Me O My.
There will be lots of Pie recipes and pictures in the next year- I just feel it in my bones! So, tomorrow I will try to have the PDF ready (if Fred can help me) and you can maybe whip up your own Advent Elf- There is still time! I am going to have to get it finished and mailed, really quick! Maybe I can get some magic dust for help with that- or just some pie and caffeine- do the dew as Troy would say! teehee! Gotta git! Thanks for stopping by. A shout out to Grapevine, Texas, where I saw at Sitemeter that someone had visited  from. Recon they make lots of wreaths and baskets there?

Bird Brained Bread Wreath and Happy Zombies

This is almost like an I Spy Picture. I see that I need to be in here cleaning and organizing. I spy with my little eye wool from a recently felted thrifted coat that needs to be turned into something cool. I spy with my little eye coffee that is turning cold as I decide what to do next.There are delightful things to sparkle and shine and catch my roving spy eye. My sewing room is such a happy place for me. I miss the other 6 foot worktable though and may have to reconfigure some things so that it can be put back. I need the room to spread out and design! Last night, while watching Moonlight, I worked on my own version of an Advent Elf. I am drafting the pattern and hope to make a PDF for everyone to share. My Blog Buddy, Cyber Sistah and all around Cool Cat and Happy Zombie Girl- Monica Solorio-Snow has fashioned an Uber Lovely and Delightful & FREE pattern for a table runner called the Jingle Jolly Runner. Go get your own copy to create and maybe she'll make a Flickr Group for pictures of finished runners. I love the way it looks and hope to make one of my own to share! Thank you, Mon!! You do good work, girlfriend! Makes me want to sneak over to the quilt shop!   

So, what have I been up to? Was that what you came to find out? I hid out here all day yesterday- not willing to expose myself to the alarming shopping Crazies out and about at all corners of my town. I was safe and happy and finished reading the third Dexter book, caught the nap train and sewed some secret stuff. My back hurt a little- possibly from wearing my sock monkey slippers while standing all day Thanksgiving cooking. It was so nice to do nothing more strenuous than turn the page and eat roast beef sammies on homemade rolls yesterday.So this morning I had a little fun with a bread wreath that my Brother had given me last week. The church was giving out free bread and he gave this to me. ( oh Brother!) It was so red and green that I figured the high food coloring content might kill us,  so I dried it out in the oven for a few hours and then let it sit in the laundry room for a few more days and then bought some bird seed.I used a leftover piece of foam core as a base and trimmed it to fit the base. Then I unrolled a little bit of chicken wire and cut it to a circle. After slathering on peanut butter and sprinkling the bird seed it was ready to hang with some more wire. It is hanging where I can see it from the office door. I have been feeding the squirrels peanuts too. Critters are everywhere on the lake.Turtles, ducks, egrets, hawks, sea gulls, squirrels, raccoons, possums, rabbits, snakes. I wish the ducks weren't so messy- I used to feed them but gave up because they were just wrecking the yard!
I must venture out today because we are out of coffee. I will make a mad dash and pray for the best! Have a happy Cartoon Day, Peeps and thanks for stopping by!

warm & happy kitchen

Using Paula Deen's Recipe, (kindly shared by my Sister Laura) I made a Chocolate Pecan Pie that turned out so delicious- I am now a pecan lover, again!
One Thanksgiving, a long, long, time ago, my Brother and I ate way too many nuts and got sick on them and I haven't ever wanted to touch a nutcracker again. Finally, I may have overcome that.
I also bought a bag of hazelnuts- maybe I can make cookies with them.
I cooked all day yesterday, like many of you, and didn't get the time to take many pictures, but I wanted to share my potato rolls, so I snapped a few.

Here's the dough ready to rise. I have been making potato rolls since the 80's and use an old Better Homes & Gardens recipe. It has mashed potatoes in it. It requires just the right conditions to create the lightest, fluffiest, most delicious rolls I have ever tasted.
I used to put them in my minivan to rise because the house was never warm enough- the air-conditioning drafts can stunt the rising of the dough.
I have also put them in the oven with a pan of boiling water below them to create a humid and warm chamber for them to rise.

Yesterday, everything was perfect! They rose beautifully and I made giant rolls and once baked they were golden brown and lovely.

Of course I had to taste test them and after 3 I was pretty sure, they were delicious. We also had deviled eggs, green beans sauted with garlic, baked acorn squash, sweet potatoes whipped with butter and wildflower honey, and boiler onions that were roasted with the prime rib.What made it especially wonderful was having Troy here with Fred and me. He was very happy with dinner and maybe a bit surprised at how great it all turned out. Usually I spill, burn or mutilated at least one spatula in the blender (Easter 2004, carrot cake incident, no pictures).Eating dinner later (6:30pm) was wonderful because it gave me a chance to do the dishes and take a shower and not feel rushed and stressed about everything.
The candles were lit and we played a Thanksgiving tradition- Adam Sandler's Thanksgiving Song on the stereo. We smile. We eat. We are Thankful.
Today, I will be sewing.
No cleaning.
No cooking.
Just sewing.
Yeehaw!
Let the games begin!!!

Got the time? Domo Arigato, Mr Roboto

Searching the internet for white rabbit images brought me to this site. I found the clock pictured to be delightfully appropriate to illustrate  this post about feeling late! As in, the white rabbit running around saying- I'm late! I'm late! I am still ahead, but feeling late as I plan Thanksgiving dinner. I am so happy that my Son is coming for a visit and will be having dinner with us. My Brother and his wife also. That makes 5 place settings. One doesn't like turkey, the other doesn't like ham. One wants roast beef. One loves lasagna. Let the games begin!!!! I am going to be making my famous potato rolls and maybe a new pie- I had a request for chocolate pecan- my Sister said she has the recipe. So, I will be going to the grocery store today and then cooking all day tomorrow and then on Thanksgiving, hopefully I will have most of it all done. Prepped and ready.
The next big thing is the Atomic Holiday Show on Dec 9 and I will be getting some product together for that. It is only a one day, very short show and what doesn't sell will be going in the Etsy shop.
So, I just wanted to say hi! I know everyone is busy with their own preparations and family fun. Gotta get hoppin! gobble, gobble!

So, indulge my thought process; while trying to decorate my table, I am thinking about ways to say thank you, which leads to domo arigato, which leads to You Tube, which led to this:

McQueen

McQueen, originally uploaded by j_naturalia_2.

How great would I look grocery shopping in this???





found on Flickr...
Model presents a creation by British fashion designer McQueen as part of his ready-to-wear fall/winter 2006-2007 collection in Paris...A model presents a creation by British fashion designer Alexander McQueen as part of his ready-to-wear fall/winter 2006-2007 collection in Paris March 3, 2006. REUTERS/Charles Platiau

buttercream cake

buttercream cake, originally uploaded by aflordepano.

Click on this picture to visit Flickr for more fabulous fake food

Checking out the O Z

Here's something else to look forward to in December! The O Z  indeed!  Richard Dreyfus as the Great and powerful Oz... It's called Tin Man and will be on the SciFi channel. It appears to be a mini series. Oh, what a wonderful world! Maybe I can buy the fabric in the next post and make an outfit to wear and a quilt to wrap up in while we watch! I want to thank Betty  for giving me the heads up on the new series...I am delightfully intrigued!

Follow Me Down The Yellow Brick Road

Guess what Quilting Treasures has created? That's right! A line of fabric for you and me to celebrate our love of Dorothy and Toto too. Coming in December... The line is two color ways cleverly Titled Under the Rainbow and Over the Rainbow. Under the rainbow is sepia toned with all the crystal clear images from the early part of the film and the Over the Rainbow is vibrant Technicolor! I can hardly wait! What a Christmas present that will be!

Mr. & Mrs. Gnome

Mr. & Mrs. Gnome, originally uploaded by Hillary Lang.

Now Available in PDF Format from Hillary Lang at Wee Wonderfuls.
I got mine and am in love!  Click on the picture to get to Flickr and the link or go to her store here. They are gonna be great under the tree!

Counting The Days...

Now is the time to start thinking about Christmas.
You may think it's too early.
But.
Not.
If.
You.
Want.
To.
Be.
Prepared!
17 days left until Dec 1st.
Yikes!

Aren't the stockings above beautiful? Click here to see Alicia's lovely Blog post from a few years ago.

So, this morning I was thinking about Advent Calendars. (click that- it's a link to Allsorts!)
We might have had one or two Tasha Tudor designed examples when I was growing up but it was something that I was encouraged to grow out of. Maybe because they were filled with candy and I had braces! My parents didn't mind us counting the days with anticipation but they were right in not handing out cavities coated in chocolate either!
So, now as an adult I think the designs should have several necessary elements, candy not included.
*I love the idea of a surprise each day leading up to the BIG DAY!!
*It should be interactive.
*It should be fun to make.
*It should be for boys or girls of all ages.
*It should be something that can become an heirloom- made with the future in mind. Will you use it every year? ***

Believe it or not but I still have the picture from the Garnet Hill Catalog from last year that featured the cutest elf dolls with 25 advent pockets in their clothing stuck to the idea wall in my office.

I did a lap through the house to find the newest catalog, but failed,  so I went to the site to grab a picture and it seems that they are already sold out! I suppose that other people find them as cute and charming as I do.
I like the size of the pockets.
Tiny gifts can fit inside.
Gifts like matchbox cars or crayons.
It could have a note  or coupon for an activity.
Like today we  go to the park or today we make cookies.
It can be made  for adults too...like  back rubs and  spa days.
Or teenagers, with dollar bills and gift cards and cd's.
You could change the designs a bit to make them into gnomes- maybe white beards- but then they'd look like Santa. Another  idea that I have seen is adorable mittens with numbers on them hanging from a ribbon on the mantle, but alas, I do not knit. I Googled Images and found this pattern made by Heart to Hand and available at The One Stitch at a Time Quilt Shop.

It is made from wool felt and is interactive.

You take a snowman head out of the large felt pocket at the bottom and stick it to a snow body each day. That is cute. Not entertaining for any length of time, but a cute and generic way to count the days.
I do like snowmen but it always seems strange to have them on display where there is no snow. That's the downside to living in a tropical paradise. So should the design have mermaids with mermaid heads attached each day? That has nothing to do with Christmas. How about flamingos with antlers? Hahaha. Sorry. Couldn't resist. You could utilize this theme and adapt it to anything you prefer. Velcro sticks the heads to the felt. I think it's clever and the pattern is only 8 bucks. I put the link to the shop in case you like this idea and want to try it. It doesn't have the gift or treat element that I am searching for so I think it isn't going to work for me. The grandkids are so far away that I may just do an advent for Fred and Sadie with treats for them.

That might brighten our dreary kid free days. Can you see me putting crazy ideas in our advent pockets- like have breakfast for dinner or eat desert first? We already do that! That would require a bit more thoughtful planning.

The felted sweater advent calendar on the left is from Flickr member Nesting Emily. Click here to check her lovely pottery and Craft out.

What if you made a doll quilt size wall hanging with pockets for daily recipes?
It could hang in the kitchen.
It would involve some prep time to get online and select 25 recipes to print out and cut to fit the pockets.
Like that idea?
That would work for older kids too.
You could also use coupons and gift cards for restaurants and movie nights too.
I can see it in colors to match my kitchen with a big chicken with a Santa hat at the top.
Well- why not just make it a monthly calendar?
If you made it with 31 pockets then you could just fill what you need for that month.
Too much?
Probably.
That is one of my downfalls- I never can be consistent.
It sounds like a great idea but I would only do one or two months before I forgot all about it and it was taken down and shoved shamefully in a drawer somewhere.
Nope.
This has to be simple.
This has to be fun.
I'm just tossing ideas around.
Thinking about it.
Matchboxes are cute but too tiny. But you could wrap them up and then put the folded ideas inside! They could be displayed in a basket or clear glass apothecary- like here. Or You could make small stockings like here. and hang them from a ribbon. As you removed each stocking it could be hung from the tree after all the goodies are removed. That way you could make different sizes to fit the present or treat.

Last year I made some of these quilted stockings for a Christmas swap hosted by Amy of In The Lyons Den. They didn't hold much. I think I like the idea of all different size and patterns stockings with numbers on them. You could get a cheap wreath from Michael's to hang them on. By Christmas morning your wreath would be empty and ready to store for next year! Teehee, sorry, I think I need some more coffee. For the tea lover- you know you could put a tea bag in an envelope and number them and tie it with a pretty ribbon and know that they'll have a cuppa each day and think of you...

So what should I make?  The one below is from Cheryl at Prater Poste. Here is the link go check her out.  I like it a lot, maybe I can brush up on my wood shop skillz.

Got any ideas or links for me to visit?

Countdown to Christmas!!!

Thanks Laurie for the Magic Cabin Elf Advent Info- I had peeked quickly at my catalog, but did not seen that. Here is the link to Magic Cabin.

Get ready to start the countdown!!!!!

Giving Thanks or Invitations to an Imaginary Dinner

My second invitation to the dinner to celebrate thanks is Natalie of Chickenblog. She is a storyteller and photographer of first rate caliber. I have been swept away with her words and carried off to Southern California to share in the adventures and joys of raising her family. She has the oldest Blog that I have yet to find. (Soon, she will be celebrating her 1000 post.) She started it with this post and cooked up some love with this post and if I may share some of her glorious photos with you so that you can see for yourself....

I hope she doesn't mind if I share this poem that she wrote- because it might get me in the Holiday Spirit- at least it reminds me to stock up on tissue and vitamins!

ELEVEN DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Our stockings are hung
from the mantle with care,
the fragrance of gingerbread
hangs in the air.

Packages are under
our well lit tree,
outside the air is balmy
by many a degree.

The children are nestled
with colds in their heads,
when the antibiotics kick in
we'll have less to dread.

Dad with bronchitis,
and Mom's coughing too,
we've been diagnosed properly,
this isn't a flu.

Out in the hen house
there arose such a clatter,
I slumped off the sofa
to see what was the matter.

Over to the closet
to search for some shoes,
with all that is in there,
no wonder there is stuff we lose.

The sun on the crest
of the new breaking day,
gave the luster of a heat wave
on the bales of hay.

When what to my wondering eyes
should appear
but three hungry chickens,
and rabbits in the rear.

With sharp little beaks
and skinny yellow legs,
they eat and they walk
and they lay colored eggs.

More rapid than typists
those chickens can peck,
and they have to look up,
for food to go down their neck.

And then in a twinkling
I heard from our home
the incessant ringing
of my cellular phone.

As I stepped in the house,
to answer the call,
Max reached for the cookies
and we saw them all fall.

He was dressed in pajamas
from his feet to his head,
he pulled and he tugged
and he begged to be fed.

We are all out of juice,
there's no bread for their bellies,
looks like tortillas
all smothered with jellies.

And William and Alex,
so lively and quick
are writing their Christmas lists,
though they are sick.

I grumbled and groaned
as I started to clean,
frankly, for dusting and scrubbing
I am not very keen.

There is too much to do
and errands to run
I pause to remember,
"This is meant to be fun."

We have so much
for to be grateful.
I hug my dear boys
and feel truly thankful.

So, grabbing a tissue
and blowing my nose
a renewed sense of spirit
in me arose.

Away to the post office,
we flew in our Chevy,
this is sure to cost plenty,
these gifts are quite heavy.

I'll read to the children,
make sure they are fed,
give them decongestant
and tuck them in bed.

When my husband comes home,
I will kiss him and shout,
"Thank you God,
for Mom's Night Out!"

Isn't that great? Isn't that funny?

I know if she were seated at my Thanksgiving table she would make us laugh until we cried in our cranberries.
Take a moment, won't you, to stop by and visit Natalie.
Check out her quilts (which runs in the family) and travels.
Randomly pick a day from each year and see how the kids have grown.
I wish you could publish your Blogs- well, I am sure there is a way.
There must be. This would also be a great Book. The Life and Times of a Chicken Loving Family. I need to come up with a catchier title. I'll think about it while you go visit.

A is for Awesome and Apple or maybe Awesome Apples

As I sit and wonder what to write about I quickly pull ideas out of my near empty coffee cup. Discarding them almost immediately as too lame, stupid, repetitive, uninteresting.
Should I show you the mile high apple pie that I baked last night?

Naw, I just showed you a pie a week or so ago that I made for Pushing Daisies Night. Go back here to get the recipe.
Should I talk about Catherine Moore and her marvelous collection of stamps? I just ordered some of the clear constructions- some from the Mad Tea Party and then a crinoline de camp and some French Laundry hangers. I love to make paper dolls - remember this girl?

Naw, that's not fun! I need something new! Something AWESOME....(Maybe I can search the internet...)

Like maybe this: or maybe this: well, that's certainly awesome in a awesome God sort of way. But I want to talk about something cool and clever. Something spacey and recycled...maybe something like this: or this: Created from the fertile imagination of Paul Loughridge. Click on his name to visit his website and here to see more of his awesome robots at Flickr. You know I love robots... But,  maybe if robots aren't your thing you might find these surreal sidewalk drawings by Julian Beever interesting...Here is his link.Wait!!!!! I know!!!! This!!! You must See THIS!!!!!!!!!!and more of her designs here          How wonderful is that? A beach glass gown. What? You say you need a cup of coffee too?Come over here and get some while it's hot. If you enjoy art with your food then maybe you want to check this out Well, it's Monday. It's a holiday for some and Fred is off today. Maybe I should go wrangle him up some kind of breakfast...After I go see skull-a-day for what's new. If you feel like you still need a little bit of stimulating visualizations then travel over to Dark Roasted Blend. It has an awesome collection of posts to entertain you. If you have an awesome link you'd like to share then leave it in the comments section. I'd love to see some of your awesome stuff! Like maybe this- does your apple get cold? Maybe it needs a jacket? Check out her Etsy site for more Fruit Jackets

Giving Thanks or Invitations to an Imaginary Dinner

When I start to think about Thanksgiving and what it really means then I have to forgo images of pilgrims and Indians and Cornucopia's and forlorn turkeys ( are they still sad that Ben Franklin wasn't able to make them our National Bird?)
I think about special people that I have met while Blogging or visiting Flickr and I would like to thank them, one at a time, during this month devoted to Giving Thanks.
First, there is Jude.
She has been doing the most creative and loving thing that I have possibly ever witnessed.
She has been designing and crafting a quilt for her Brother and started a Blog to document the process.
I think it would make a fabulous book.
I feel as though I am sharing in each stitch and snippet of velvet or thread as it passes through the layers of love that she is pouring out from her heart.
It flows from her fingertips into the river of warmth and soulfulness that will someday wrap around her Brother.
It will rest on his bed and every time he glances it's way he will be reminded of his Sister and her love.
Her devotion
The strength of will and intelligence of perception that she has utilized in creating this wondrous quilt. Planning each block to effectively evoke a memory with tactile reinforcements of elements of her Brother's Life.
I want you to go visit her Blog aptly named Spirit Cloth.
I want you to take a moment to view the slideshow at Flickr.
I think that is love.
A Love Letter written with fabric and thread instead of paper and ink.
It is Brilliant and I am Thankful to share in it.
Jude has a place setting at my  Thanksgiving table.
{All of these pictures are humbly borrowed from Jude}

gnomes, mushrooms and sushi

I started this the night before last. I found a gorgeous old wool coat at Goodwill (5.99) and brought it home to cut up and felt in the washing machine. I could see it becoming a bear or something else under my needle and thread. It became mushrooms with red polka dots!

This little gnome pattern is from the Gnome Christmas book of crafts that I pull out every year when it starts to get cool enough to work with wool and memories of snow come to mind. I had started and finished the large mushroom while watching our Thursday night shows. Earl, The Office, Grey's Anatomy. Then last night after dinner I finished the other two and the green mound to form the base after we got home from dinner. I used an awl to pierce the stem and add wire to attach it to the green base. The wire gives it strength and stability. I sewed them down and found one of my vintage milk glass bowls to hold it perfectly. The mushrooms are just two wool felt yoyo's. The top one- the "cap" is stuffed with fiberfill and then red wool circles and shapes were sewn down to be the spots. After I finished the first one I realized that I had switched the colors. It should have been red with white dots.Maybe my mushrooms live in Superman's bizarro world. Anyway, they look cute, I think. They are fun and easy to make while watching shows at night.

We had a wonderful dinner at The Sushi & Raw Bar (located in the Landings Shopping Center, here in Sarasota.)

This is the front of the restaurant. It serves delicious food created with fresh ingredients and is almost too perfect and pretty to eat. Fred loves the Tuna Tataki .I love the tables that were painted by a customer after they first opened up.

This is just two of the tables. You can click on the pictures to see more at my Flickr site. Jun is the very friendly owner who reminds me of Cheers each time we walk in-except he says "Hi Fred", instead of George! The atmosphere is cozy and romantic and there are booths or you can sit at the bar and watch Jun's fingers fly. I love the California roll but the crispy roll is so delicious that it must be sinful. It has cream cheese and smoked eel, asparagus, rice and is wrapped with that green sea weed stuff and then deep fried! The addition of wasabi and pretty pink ginger is like a party in your mouth! We both just sigh. It is heaven.

I am also hooked on the Beef Bulgogi. It is delicious. I also tried some of the ginger "tea"- it is made with ginger, honey and cinnamon. For dessert, the perfectly portioned ice cream mochi.Strawberry, green tea and my favorite- vanilla. Yum.
So, if you ever find yourself hungry, and in need of delicious dinner then look for The Sushi Raw Bar and Ji will keep your tea cup filled and serve you with sweetness and smiles. Just what you need after a long weary week at work.
I need to get down to the office supply store for more ink for the printer and then maybe a bike ride later to burn off that crispy roll. It's so nice and cool outside- we have the windows open again and are loving the low humidity! This is why we live here. If you don't melt in the summer you can enjoy almost perfect weather for a few months before it returns to saunas on the sun. Y'all have a nice day!

Faith Cockail Apron in Ivory & Black Found On Flickr

Faith Cockail Apron in Ivory & Black, originally uploaded by The Heavenly Hostess.

Guess what?!!! There is a new theme over at Tie One On! Polka Dots!!!!! Everyone has 3 months to get creative! Click on this link to check it out.

who?

, originally uploaded by calamity kim.

The Dead Rag Doll on the right was made for me by my bff Amanda. The poor girl had one too many calamities and turned up dead! Poor thing! Now she walks in the glooming and searches for her dog and needles and thread to continue sewing and sewing and sewing.... The owl is by that sweet gal from Old School Acres and the mushroom is part of a wip I am working on. Happy Fall, that's who!!!

Barnabas Bartholomeus Bear Make Do

, originally uploaded by calamity kim.

Barnabas Bartholomeus has been sitting around enjoying his memories of playing with Charlotte and her friend Fern. They used to run and play and blow bubbles all day...down to the creek to hunt for moss and round smooth stones to paint or toss. He is a sweet vintage looking make do that will be going in the Etsy Shop tomorrow.
Super Fred and I are going to grab a bite of Korean food and then maybe rent a movie. Hope you are having a happy Friday!

Fall Favorites!

Fall Favorites!, originally uploaded by Playingwithbrushes.

sometimes I see such beautiful images on Flickr that I get lost in it all. Click on this picture to travel to Flickr.
I hope you like the new Blog banner and colors. It was time to change it up a bit.

silhouettes of design

Sometimes, I just fall in love with fabric. My current fling is with this fabric created by Jason Yenter of "In The Beginning" fabrics. I love that the design is emerging from the selvage.  I can see it cut into vertical strips and sewn back together with a solid fabric. Like a convergenge quilt by Ricky Tims. Click on the link to read more about his brilliant work if you aren't familiar with his technique. For those of you who are then you understand thew effects that a simple slash with the rotary cutter can give. Stack and Whack by Bethany Reynolds  is a different cutting theory all together but could still be used with this fabric to possibly achieve fabulous results.
When the Hancock's of Paducah Catalog comes in the mail I am like a kid at Christmas. I always stop what I am doing and make a cup of tea and go sit in my comfy corner of the couch and dream a little dream.

Aren't they lovely?

golden hands

golden hands, originally uploaded by calamity kim.

Victoria valued Valium and Vodka Vacations as much as Knitting and Needle pointing Nightly.

cooking up an art show

Thank you.
Yesterday's post was not only difficult to write but cathartic. I feel better about it. You guys help me so much. The pouring out of one's heart sometimes leaves it less than full, but your support and "love" fills it to burst.
I appreciate that very much.
New day.
Going Forward.
I haven't had any problems with insomnia since I started riding my bike several months ago.
The exhaustion has kept it at bay and I fall into bed each night and sleep until morning.
We have the windows open because it is so gloriously cool and refreshing outside.
Last night at 2:36 I woke up because of a noise.
Heart pounding, I walked through the house.
Silence.
Just Fred and Sadie snoring lightly.
I got back in bed and for the next 2 hours tried to go back to sleep.
You know when you try too hard, you just become more awake.
So, I entered my Dreamland Gallery.
It's the Art Gallery where I install my artwork and workout designs and demons.
Last Night's Show was titled Eating Your Words.
It consisted of dolls with little landscapes displayed on acrylic boxes set onto oak pedestals.
The show was interactive with the audience, who were encouraged to write their own words on squares of fabric that could be dropped into the acrylic boxes  and would later be sewn by "the Artist" (hey, that's me!) into quilts.
The dolls were made from fabric and were on felt landscapes- like one doll was feeding a word pie to a dog across the neighbors fence with a tree standing nearby.
The tree was perfectly rendered in fabric and wool felt. The fence was made from fabric with a wood grain appearance. The dog was  happily wagging his tail and up on his hind legs, begging for the pie. [It appeared to be a Jack Russel which our neighbors don't have.]
Another doll was riding an old-fashioned  velocipede  bicycle  and looking back as an anthropomorphic pink telephone  ran after  it.  The telephone was  running on it's little legs as fast as it could.  The bicycle had a basket  filled with cupcakes with words written all over the paper liners.
[I have been trying to imagine how they create those paper cupcake liners- like the sort of machine it would take to do that and why doesn't the Arts & Crafts store sell those- then I could make my own designs!]
I know that your dreams help your subconscious work out the daily input of images and information, but really, I was awake.
Then I had to wonder if these were good ideas?
Wouldn't it be cool?
It's still amazing to me, after so many years, that people want what I make.
The little Hazel witch doll was so fun  and I guess my inner doll maker is trying to tell me that it wants to get busy.
I have been working on dying fabric and playing really with a new process. I will blog about it soon, as I am still in "the process". Today looks like another great day for it!
The dye has been thickened with sodium alginate and can be painted with a paintbrush. I am trying out stencils and all sorts of things.  I am taking pictures and will post about it soon.
I was looking forward to another Piemaker Night and I have more granny smiths and galas ready to go into another tart apple, BUT, on the site I saw that the next episode is Nov 14. It's gonna be a long week...but still there is pie. ahh, sweet pie. I promise I won't put any words in it. Just gruyere on top!
*** the noise that woke me up last night? Raccoons tipping the trashcan over. We use bungee cords to keep them from lifting the lids, but one of them must have knocked it down and then rolled it over to the fence where I found it this morning when I took Miss Sadie out.***

Going To The Book Fair

Going To The Book Fair, originally uploaded by calamity kim.

So today was a beautiful 75 degrees and we braved the crowds and went Downtown to the Sarasota Book Festival. We were happy to wait in line for about an hour to see Jeff Lindsay speak about his newest Dexter book- Dexter In The Dark. He was very funny and charmed us with stories of his experiences in LA and The Dexter Showtime Series and his family. His wife is Hilary Hemingway, niece of Ernest and a writer also.
We taped a little of him speaking and will get it up on You Tube later. It was a great experience to meet him afterward and get my book signed.
I asked him to make it out to Kim- Don't Get Spattered! I am so happy! What a wonderful day!
I also saw Gene Wilder, who had a gazillion people waiting in line to get his signature on his new book. He had very kind looking eyes. I would have loved to have gotten to hear him speak but they were during the same time frames and I was intrigued to meet the author of Dexter.
I have to get back to my projects- tomorrow I will announce the winner of the Blog Contest- there is still time to guess.....how many pompoms and yoyo's are floating around in my brain????

Bonfire of the Calamities!

I had a rather delightful Halloween, that included several hours spent in line at the grocery and then running around trying to cook and finish last minute details while forgetting to charge camera batteries and missing the great photo opportunity of the twin toddler bumblebee babies saying trick or tweet at our door.
We don't get enough kids here- just surly teenage boys with no costumes and huge backpacks filled with candy on bikes I might add! The terrors of the neighborhood...better give them big fistfuls of treats so that the tricks don't get played because we were stingy with the sugah.
Anywayyyy, I ended up making a chicken Alfredo and broccoli pizza for dinner and decided to make the jello brain and heart molds the next morning due to running out of time on Halloween.
It's about 8 am yesterday morning and I boil the water and stir with two packs of black cherry jello mix. Then I add cream to make it pink and give the impression of tissue. I fill both the heart and brain molds and place them on plates in the fridge. The remaining leftover cup of jello is poured in to the skeleton mold- I thought why waste it? Then I carefully set it on the top of two orange juice containers and propped it against the water jug lid. OK.  Seemed steady.
You know where this is heading don't you?
You've looked at the road ahead and seen the train wreck of my day, already.
Take another sip of coffee and imagine my HORROR when 45 minutes later Fred opens the fridge to get a glass of juice and the skelly mold is upside down and the entire refrigerator is filled with pink goo. Not knowing whether to laugh or cry I am just disgusted and sad.
Why me?
Have I not learned after 46 years of this life that if the jello mold can flip over in the worst possible place- IT WILL?
Murphy's Law.
Fred says that before Time Began there were creatures called "calamities" and they have been plaguing mankind with their evil tricks and pranks for so long that  their existence has been forgotten and all credit it placed upon their third cousins, twice removed: "accidents" and " fates". Not to mention all the Glory given to "Gremlins and Goblins".
Now, truly, these "calamities" can be seen if you try really hard and sit very still in the shadowy corners of your home. They dart out and spill beads and drop needles and unspool your bobbin thread into the machinery of your serger. They look for half glasses of chocolate milk to tip.
Mankind has forgotten that these creatures ever existed-and the word calamity has been used to describe dreadful  events of  nature- like hurricanes, earthquakes and  fires.
I am going to invent a contraption in which to trap and contain these "calamities" much like the Ghostbusters had their ectoplasmic containment units- I will have "Calamity Catchers" (thanks to Amanda for that Brilliant suggestion) and be able to prove that they do exist and live among us without our knowledge.
The proof: