Have you ever had a secret you were dying to tell?
You knew it would be ruined if you told someone, but couldn't hold your tongue? There is something so delicious about secrets, isn't there?
If some one tells you their secret then it makes you feel special. They trust you.
But if you tell then there is most assuredly consequences.
Maybe you'll lose their friendship.
Maybe it will just be bruised.
You've seen or heard about Frank Warrens Post Secret Site, right? PostSecret is an ongoing community art project in which people mail their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard.
I am like a boomerang with that site.
I find it interesting and then I am repulsed.
I return to try to see Art in the images but I sense that I am supposed to be shocked and I am almost afraid that after a lifetime of Movies, Books and TV nothing can possibly shock me anymore. From Post Secret there has sprung the inevitable copycat sites. There are even several books published about Post Secret Postcards.
I have a secret that I am dying to SHOW you.
I got my advance copy in the mail today and I am jumping up and down!
I am Proud.
I called my Brother and invited him over for some BLT's and he saw it and said " How's your self esteem now, kid?"
I laughed and said "Great!"
He chuckled and said: "Wait till Mom calls."
It would be funny if it weren't so true.
I was published once before in a Basketweave Magazine. 1990.
I haven't ever really pursued it because I was terrified of the rejection.
Now, I am old enough to figure it would be their loss if they didn't publish me.
No, That's not true.
That's the puffed up and proud little Kimmie.
The girl with the shiny new patent leather mary janes and Easter bonnet and yellow dress with crinoline.
That's the little Kimmie by the Christmas tree with her Dad knowing that Santa has just deemed her Good for another year.
The grown-up, middle aged Kim that has become a Calamity is content, honored, and knows that maybe with some hard work and blessed creativity she can get published again.
I always ask myself what am I afraid of in these situations.
Afraid to be judged? Afraid to be laughed at or ridiculed?
Afraid someone will think my art is crap?
Possibly all of these things.
The older I get the easier it really is to let go of the fear.
To be bold and just make what I want.
My brother laughs at me all the time and I get my fair share of "what -the-hell-is-that?"
So, the secret?
I have been keeping it for so long now that I am not sure that I can share it.
Maybe I am supposed to wait until it hits the newsstand on Sept 5.
Maybe I can urge you to pick up the newest copy of CLOTH, PAPER, SCISSORS and look on page 85. If you enjoy the magazine I also ask that you go to the Reader Survey section and put in a good word for me or the article.
If they have enough requests they might ask to see more Calamity in The Craft room! I would love to do a feature article on Art Aprons or Doll Quilts (they also publish Quilting Arts Magazine).
I might have to put together a proposal and submit that. Maybe I can beg. Send flowers & chocolate....