Florida is a magical place. We have Orlando with its theme parks and Tampa with Ybor City and Pirates! Key West is a colorful, hedonistic wonderland of Conchs & Queens, or make that Queen Conchs. In Sarasota we have the most beautiful beaches, Art Galleries, Ringling Museum and lots of condos where orange groves used to thrive.I have recently discovered a unique and strange new life form. They are Mutant Veggie People!!!!! Oh, my Sweet Lord!!! I found this little fellow out in the back yard under the ficus tree, fending off an attack by Sammy the Squirrel. He was trying to talk to Sammy and get him to understand that he was no threat to his stash of fresh acorns, that he could survive on sunshine and rain and didn't need to eat acorns for survival! I shooed Sammy away and asked this fashionista fruit if he had a name and he politely bowed and with a sweeping gesture said "How do you do!? I am Timothy T Tangelo,Esq. Thank you for saving me from that vile creature! This whole area seems to be populated by nothing but ruffian squirrels, lazy lizards and snappy turtles! What I wouldn't give for a nice beach cottage of my own to get away from these beasts!"
So I offered to bring him inside and gave him a glass of water and listened while he told his magical tale of how he came to life one day and found himself running about the garden with no clothes. He said that he happened to sneak into my house one day when I was getting in groceries and he cleverly snuck into the sewing room and had a delightful time finding bits and pieces to stitch together a jazzy little outfit. I had thought his attire seemed somehow familiar, but didn't want to appear rude by inquiring about it's origin.He seemed quite proud of his shoes, which had once been wedding favors and were now painted a happy aqua with black polka dots and bows. He turned about to show me all the little details- buttons, beads, yen, soda caps, labels, fringe, flowers and patchwork. I must say his taste was smashing and fabulously campy.
After a long talk, in which he shared his desire to see the world- or at least the United States, he has asked me to place him up for sale in my Etsy Shop. He would stay here with me, but is concerned that Sadie might make a meal out of him before I could save him. He doesn't want me to have to deal with the stress of chasing squirrels and dog and what if he were killed or eaten alive .....you see the position I'm in? I must list him and let him go and travel. Perhaps he'll find love among your fruit.